I knew

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IMG_3858Yes, you heard right. I knew. This is the part I had a hard time admitting in my last post. I’d admitted it to a couple people I trusted, however, I only skirted around it in my last post, saying that I wasn’t listening. I mentioned my fear. But I didn’t mention that I flat out heard the words a few times “He’s going to throw you.” I didn’t mention I flat out heard the words “Go get your landlady’s helmet.” I heard those words again when I was on his back, minutes before he threw me,  and buckled down my fuzzy padded hat I had on. That padding may have made the difference in a concussion or not.

Its humbling, I didn’t want to say it because I feel a bit silly. I didn’t want to say I knew and did it anyways. My emotional state had the better of me in that moment. So the last time this happened at this magnitude it was 8 years ago and I got the message that my cat wouldn’t come back from the vets if I took him in, but I thought that was a fear thought too. Even though my cat TOLD me. And, being that I didn’t want to cancel on the vet and be charged for a missed teeth cleaning appointment based on a fear thought, took him in anyways. Needless to say, he died in my arms when I picked him up that day. Nothing is more bone-chilling than having my baby’s life end so traumatically as it did and I KNEW but discarded that information. I am chilled to the bone of grief again just to recall it. As if that wasn’t enough, what I saw when I was in non-ordinary consciousness during an astral workshop the day before, that my cat’s soul had decided to become human. I saw his soul separate from animal consciousness and move over to the plane of human soul consciousness.  Double message. We have a very deep soul bond, this one. Its meaningful to me to see the choice made by his soul, this doesn’t cancel out the deep grief of the loss of each other, nor does it cancel the lesson. It may have been a sacrifice in order for me to really learn a deeper listening to myself I wasn’t fully committed to at that time.

This was one of the hardest teaching moments about intuition for me, and the level of critical nature of not heeding one’s intuition. From that day forward, I chose to listen to my intuition. And I made a lot of sweeping changes due to that, including moving up to the town I now live in, which had intuitively called me, though logically I could not explain why I needed to be here so did not take action for years.

So, I claim responsibility for what happened to me. Its why I didn’t blame my horse, being more mad at myself. For some reason I needed a refresher about being stubborn, letting my emotional state override my common sense of listening appropriately to my intuition that day. May I learn this lesson so that I don’t act it out again, and I pray to all my guides and allies as witnesses, I ask for help to remember in the moments I need help the most.

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Mardi Storm is a healing arts practitioner, bridging the spirit realms in every day reality, there is no separation between there and here, helping to heal others both living and non-living, multi-dimensional traveler, and visual artist expressing these energies, spirits and dreams. She is more recently a farmer, moving into deep relationship with the teachings from the world of animals, nature, and the souls of animals, plants, and all beings part of this Earth. She learns every day from the grace of the divine and the lessons given to make her a more conscious soul.



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