Don’t Trip on your Shadow: the Sensitive Person’s Guide to Fulfillment

Unfinished painting

Are you a sensitive person? A person who can sense things? Feel things? Intuit what is unsaid, even before someone realizes it for themselves? Perhaps you are a healer. Or an artist. Or a writer. Or perhaps you are an introvert, someone who prefers your own company, to not have to deal with all that interference that comes with spending time in other people’s energy field. In some way, you consider yourself sensitive. Perhaps you were told you are too sensitive, and to “stop taking things personally”.

I’m here to tell you that you aren’t too sensitive. You’re just right. Its the rest of the world’s attitudes about sensitivity that could use an adjustment, but one step at a time. The first step is for you to see yourself, with all the gifts you have, as perfectly valid, even at an advantage. Because you can see things other people can’t see. You notice things before other people do. You feel things that are unspoken. This is a gift. This is the gift of perceiving energy.

When we’re gifted at perceiving energy, we might see there is so much more going on than what other people let on. I find it a bit overwhelming in this day and age, there is so much advice and self-help coming in from all directions on the internet. Some of it is flat out off. I can feel it. That’s how I know its off. I read it and feel myself contract, or perhaps just missing that “aaaahhhh” opening inside that says “this author really hit the mark”. So many people think they are on the right track and they might sound good. Anyone can get an “ah-ha” out of our ego, or personality self, a “that’s right!” kind of response. There is a super fine distinction here, one that can only be described to someone who has felt the essence of their deeper self. But if they aren’t touching the core of our being, making our heart open, or our essence sigh with delight at being seen, they’re missing the mark, they’re not touching on the most important part.

In the day and age of affirmations, truisms, listicles, positive thinking, Law of Attraction and reprogramming your unconscious, some of you might find some great motivating moments, and “aaaahhhh” moments, and I’d still like to ask you, how did it change your life? Did you focus on something you wanted and achieve it? Were you happy? Did you change your thoughts until you found yourself happy? How long has that lasted for you? These are honest questions – and I’d love to hear a response in the comments!

I don’t mean to sound like a downer, all of this is good work, important stuff. We MUST clean up our thinking, as thoughts are energy, and energy is powerful and its where we manifest from. It is a piece of the puzzle, but it is not the whole puzzle. Not everyone can simply change their thoughts and reprogram their head, I’ve seen this lead to a whole lot of problems with people (denial being a big one).

Changing your thoughts or focussing on what you want to manifest is manipulating energy, but its not a deeply feeling place. Some of those methodologies focus on chasing the high of getting what you want (or the high of non-attachment and freedom in a state of bliss) but coming crashing when that mindset has to meet the consensus reality and struggles to find balance.

Ever feel like you've been thrown overboard to the sharks?
                 Ever feel like you’ve been thrown overboard to the sharks?

My sincerest wish is that in my pages here you find some maps for helping you discover what might be missing for you. Why affirmative methodologies might fall flat for you, or why you might not (yet) have manifested that perfect relationship, that job, that livelihood, that passion into a business. There’s a few more crucial pieces, and they’re really hard to see. Not only that, they might be unsavory, difficult to be with. Most people and programs would like to gloss over the  ugly bits and just get to the good stuff. The “oh yeah I worked on that already can we move on?” response.

To be clear I have no intention of just dragging anyone through the mud of difficult parts of their lives. We don’t just open the wounds to air them. Its the act of deep witnessing to where you went within that moment that gives us the keys to healing. What I invite you to do is to turn the spotlight onto yourself, and how you processed what was happening to you. How you felt about you. What attitudes and beliefs did you form? What part of yourself did you close off, shut down, or leave behind? What part of you says “I can’t” in order to keep you safe?

Its when we are willing to look at how we have programmed ourselves with a belief system that short changes our soul’s potential that we really can get a grasp on how we have a choice.

Instead of a brief visit to where we are stuck and imaging ourselves moving forward into the light like some of us have experienced, I’m going to invite you to take my hand, let’s go down in the basement together. That’s where the good stuff is, the meaty stuff, where we can sort through these boxes, maybe stuff you inherited from your Grandma but never went through, and oh look, that box over there from your mother’s childhood. And your own, all boxed up just waiting for your attention and gentle sorting. If we ignore the baggage in the basement it will come looking for us. It’ll take the form of skeletons in the closet, of nightmares, of things going horribly wrong, of people we love leaving us, of losing our job, of feeling stuck every time we wish to step forward to pursue our passion.

Unfortunately, regardless of your relationship with your family, you have inherited baggage. Baggage that spans many generations. Its pull is strong. Its hard to look at and often goes ignored. Just changing your thoughts around it doesn’t make it go away. The energy has to be dealt with. The energy has to be unwound, disentangled from your wounded place within, your child self, the place it all began, the time and place when you believe that everything that was happening was truth and  your young child’s mind strove to make sense of it, to turn it into truth. That’s where the beliefs come in. And most things we believed in as a child weren’t quite true.

So I invite you if you will join me, to take a look at some of these places within, that may complicate taking directional steps in your life towards fulfillment. In fact, the reward aspect of this work is we often find a piece of gold near our wound. So by traveling back to these places in time, spaces within where we might have gotten lost from our true soul’s compass, we actually can reclaim part of ourselves, a piece of our soul, some of our inner gold.

To help you on your journey I’d like to invite you to download my guidelines which you receive when you sign up to my mailing list: Finding Self Compassion.

Why on Earth would anyone want to do that? Simple. You cannot change what you do not know. Read the guidelines for more details and for the six simple steps on knowing your demons.

Next, allow me to take you on a journey covering some topics that are very apropos for the times. Note that some of these are written – in my head – and it may take me awhile to put them all out here online. Please check back in for the next installments, or join my mailing list for new post updates.

And, I like to hear from you – so please leave a comment what was moved in you, or what stood out to you, touched your life in some way, or even what you had a hard time with or disagreed with.

The fine line between denial and expressing too much – why you should never stuff down your feelings. Do this instead when activated…

Have you been changing your thoughts and still not manifesting your dream situation? When your unconscious still runs the show, try this…

The two versions of “yes” – the Deep Self and the Little Self – who do you want to listen to?

What the Law of Attraction doesn’t tell you (but you really need to know in order to make it work)

How beliefs get in the way… of actually waking up to truth. Don’t rely on beliefs when you can open the way to real trust.

What our demons come to teach us (and why we can’t beat them off with a stick)

The rubberband effect on running from Depression

Why self-love is the gateway to finding yourself surrounded by real love, and nothing else will do.

Leave a comment telling me which one packed the biggest punch for you and why.

Thank you. Blessings.